Monster Mommy

Why does she have to be this way? Why can’t her memory come back! Every day it’s a new day for her and she has no idea how it effects the ones around her. The ones keeping her alive – and she’ll never remember.

Most will say “You need to toughen up.”

The mental abuse is fierce. Most will never understand the situation. Most will only judge.

Bits and pieces come back here but only for when she wants a fight – it’s not healthy.

That’s how she was brought up – how can you blame her? It’s what affects us the most that stays in the memory bank. She had a hard life. She was a harder mom. It was all she knew. She was also abused.

Father, forgive her for she knows not what she does.

She really doesn’t.

“…monster mommy is here today, she has no coffee to start her day…”

I miss her dearly. I believe her true self is in the data with my late father and she – as a past medium – gets constantly possessed by pretty strong, annoying spirits – that I have to deal with on a daily basis. Hooray.

How do I know she’s possessed? It’s easier to hear the dead when you’re on the deaf side. They are just nicer spirits – friendly – it seems she made a deal with them.

“…she’ll yell and scream and turn quite green…without her cup of…”

No no… that’s not how her song went… there’s more, there’s more… start over.

“…monster mommy is here today…”

“Happy Birthday Mommy! Welcome to the restaurant! There’s a menu and even a cake!”

[the youngest daughter lit the candles on the cake inside the cake box and the box lit on fire. The mother grabbed the fired up cake box and started foaming at the mouth, forcing all the anger out…screaming about the cost of the cake… screaming about wasting money… screaming about ruining her birthday…]

“…she had no coffee to start her day…”

“You don’t need to go to your prom. Kids your age are sleeping with each other and doing drugs, drinking – NO PROM. Do NOT ask again.”

“- please mommy my friends -“

“Your friends – I don’t have friends – You don’t need them either – GO TO YOUR ROOM! I need another glass of wine…”

“so tiptoe past her and out the door…”

TEXT MESSAGE: Hey did you get the $55 from your parents to go to Universal after the Prom?
TEXT MESSAGE: Hey JC
TEXT MESSAGE: Hey Girl, you okay?

“please don’t bother her anymore…”

TEXT MESSAGE: It’s prom today, are you there? Haven’t heard from you. Hope to see you there…
TEXT MESSAGE: JC? Are you okay? Please answer me. You won’t pick up my calls either. Check your emails. Check myspace. Are You OK???

“…she’ll yell and scream and turn quite green…”

…………..

……

“Good Morning – How are you today mommy?”

“I’m good, how are you?”

“I’m good, thank you. Do you have something to drink?”

“Yes, why?”

“To take your pills.”

“Oh yeah. Thank you. What would I do without you? Please never leave.”

…..

……..

“Good Morning”

“Good Morning – How are you doing today mommy?”

“I am good, watching a tv show.”

“That’s good, what show?”

“Oh, I don’t know I will have to pause and see.”

“Okay, do you have a drink?”

“For what?”

“To take your pills.”

“Pills? I only take one pill.” She wheels toward the medicine cabinet.

“You take two in the morning and two at night.”

“What are these pills? Let me see the bottles!”

…………

………………………..

“Good Morning, how is your day going?”

“Good, good morning to you, too.”

“Did you make your coffee today?”

“Yes, why?”

“Making sure you have something to drink, it is almost 10am.”

“What happens at 10am?”

“You take your pills.”

“Oh yeah. Pills? I only take one pill. No wait yes, I take two pills. One big one, one small one.”

“That’s right! Great job remembering!.”

…………………..

………….

“…without her lovely cup of caffeine.”

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………………………

Good Morning Mommy, Happy Mother’s Day. I love you.

Happy Mother’s Day to you, I love you, too.

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Forgive them. Just forgive the ones that do you wrong. You have to. One day they are not going to remember what they ever did to you – no matter how much, no matter how clear You may remember. Forgive them. They do not know what they do. When you forgive them you free a part of the past that hurt you. It helps. You need to understand that the reality you live in is completely differently from the person sitting six feet from you. Forgive them. They most likely don’t remember what they did to you and you hold such a grudge that it hinders the connection, the bond – the unconditional love that will always be there. Forgive them. One day they might forget their every day. One day, they might forget you. One day… Forgive them. Let the past go as it already has let of you. Forgive them. Please.